Forgiving your Enemies

Sermon Transcript:

(transcribed with AI)

Well, if you have a Bible with you, let me invite you to open to the book of 1 Samuel chapter 24. And as you're finding your way there, let me ask, are you a forgiving person?

This past January, the Harvard School of Public Health put out a massive study on forgiveness. They actually went through over 200,000 people across 23 different countries around the globe and asked them if they are willing to forgive. They studied a whole bunch of things, their survey was extensive, they even looked at the effect that forgiveness or unforgiveness has on people's health. You might be surprised to realize actually, not forgiving is bad for your health. In the same way that stress actually negatively impacts you, so a lack of forgiveness, you can actually see increased rates of anxiety, depression, lower overall health.

But they looked at how often people were willing to forgive, and thankfully, actually the response was pretty good. 75% of people said, yes, they were willing to forgive at least some of the time. Surprisingly, maybe 25% said they rarely or never forgave other people. But as they dug a little bit deeper into the people who said yes, they found that their responses began to change, the more that the offense was serious, or the more often that it happened. Eventually, everyone got to a point where they would say, yeah, it would be very, very, very difficult to forgive.

And so the purpose of the study was they wanted to try and say, hey, actually it's a good thing to forgive others. They came up with different ways of going through the process of forgiving other people. It's good stuff. I actually encourage you, look at it. But where I think it falls a little bit short is what do you do if you don't want to forgive? What do we do when we don't actually want to forgive the other person?

See, the challenge is, it's not if this will ever happen to you, if you will get hurt, but when. We know that if you would have just existed around other human beings, at some point, you will get hurt. And so the question becomes, well, what do I do with that? From a Christian perspective, we would say, actually everyone is sinful. Not that we're all as bad as we possibly ever could be, but that everyone has been affected by sin in some point or another, causes problems between us and other people, causes problems between us and God. And so the question is, what do we do when we get hurt? How do we respond when forgiveness is not our most natural reaction to what goes on?

And so as we open our Bibles this morning, really that's what we're going to see. We've been following the story of David for these past number of weeks. If you've been with us, David has been running away from Saul. Saul is the king who is hunting him down. Trying to kill David. David has not actually done anything to him, but Saul is jealous and so murderously chasing him all over the country. But this morning we're gonna look at what happens when these two men finally come face to face. David has been hurt. What will he now do?

So if you have your Bibles with you, let me invite you to follow along with me. 1 Samuel chapter 24. It's our tradition here to stand as we read God's word. If you're able to, would you stand with me?

When Saul returned from following the Philistines, he was told, Behold, David's in the wilderness of Engeti. Then Saul took 3000 chosen men of all Israel and went to seek David and his men in front of the wild goat's rocks. And he came to the sheepfolds by the way, where there was a cave, and Saul went in to relieve himself. Now David and his men were sitting in the innermost parts of the cave, and the men of David said to him, Here is the day of which the Lord has said to you, behold, I will give your enemy into your hand, and you shall do to him as it seems good to you. Then David arose and stealthily cut off a corner of Saul's robe. And afterwards David's heart struck him because he had cut off a corner of Saul's robe. He said to his men, the Lord forbid that I should do this thing to my lord, the Lord's anointed, to put out my hand against him, seeing he is the Lord's anointed. So David persuaded his men with these words and did not permit them to attack Saul. And Saul rose up and left the cave and went on his way. Afterward, David also arose and went out of the cave and called after Saul, my lord, the king. When Saul looked behind him, David bowed with his face to the earth and paid a homage. And David said to Saul, Why do you listen to the words of men who say, Behold, David seeks your harm? Behold, this day, your eyes have seen how the Lord gave you today into my hand in the cave, and some told me to kill you, but I spared you. I said, I will not put out my hand against the Lord, for He is the Lord's anointed. See my father, see the corner of your robe in my hand, for by the fact that I cut off the corner of your robe and did not kill you, you may know and see that there is no wrong or treason in my hands. I have not sinned against you, though you hunt my life to take it. May the Lord judge between me and you. May the Lord avenge me against you, but my hand shall not be against you. As the proverb of the ancients says, out of the wicked comes wickedness, but my hand shall not be against you. After whom has the king of Israel come out? After whom do you pursue? After a dead dog, after a flea? May the Lord therefore be judged and give sentence between me and you, and see to it and plead my cause and deliver me from your hand. As soon as David had finished speaking, these words to Saul, Saul said, Is this your voice, my son David? And Saul lifted up his voice and wept. He said to David, you are more righteous than I, for you have repaid me good, whereas I have repaid you evil, and you have declared this day how you have dealt well with me, and that you did not kill me when the Lord put me into your hands. For if a man finds his enemy, will he let him go away safe? So may the Lord reward you with good for what you have done to me this day. Now behold, I know you shall be surely king, and the kingdom of Israel shall be established in your hand. Swear to me, therefore by the Lord, that you will not cut off my offspring after me, and that you will not destroy my name out of my father's house. And David swore this to Saul, and Saul went home, but David and his men went up to the stronghold.

As for the reading of God's word, you may be seated.

Well this is one of the most dramatic encounters between David and Saul. If you've been with us for the past couple of weeks, you know this has been largely this cat and mouse game. Saul trying to find David, David narrowly escaping, getting betrayed, all of these things. But here now, David is finally given the upper hand in this situation. And what does he do? He reaches out and extends forgiveness to Saul.

Last week we looked at David's motivations. Why was he so willing to forgive those people who had betrayed him in the past? We looked at sort of the large scale reasons. Today we're focusing in now much more on the personal level. How do we actually respond when people hurt us? What does it look like to actually forgive someone?

See, David is trusting that, trusting in God's will to extend this forgiveness, regardless of whether or not Saul's repentance is true or false. And so as we walk through this, I want us to see this call, trust God's will, extend forgiveness by the grace of God, whether or not repentance is true or false. Because of what Jesus has done, we can forgive others by his grace.

All right, so let's just start off here at the beginning of our chapter, this call to trust God's will. We're told Saul returns back to go chase after David once again. He had been distracted by the Philistines a little bit last time. He's dealt with that, now he's back on the hunt. He goes, he's being told where David is, goes and he finds them, and it turns out Saul is a lot closer to David than anyone realizes.

Verse 3, we're told, and he, Saul, came to the sheepfolds, by the way, where there was a cave, and Saul went in to relieve himself. Now, The Bible doesn't often record bathroom breaks, we know they happen, but they're not often recorded for us in these travel journals, but this one's important because that's where David is hiding. Saul goes in, he's gotta use the bathroom, and in the far back of the cave sits David, and I don't know if all, but 600 of his men.

And so everyone looks around at David and goes, David, that's Saul. Verse 4. The men of David said to him,

here is the day of which the Lord said to you, behold, I will give your enemy into your hand, and you shall do to him as it shall seem good to you.

Now let's also be very clear, that's not a prophecy God had given David. It sounds very similar to a couple of ones that he has given David in the past, and certainly God has promised that David will be the king. And in many ways, the only obstacle to that is Saul, who is now in this moment at his most vulnerable, and so everyone is saying, look, look what God has done for you, David, all you have to do is you kill Saul and all of your problems will be solved. That sounds convincing, doesn't it?

And so David kind of hearing that goes, you know what, I gotta go do something. And so he starts sneaking over to him. You can imagine just heart thumping in the silence, trying to like calm that down so Saul doesn't hear his heart beating out of his chest. Verse 4 says,

then David arose and stealthily cut off a corner of Saul's robe.

Wait, is that it? David, you were right there, it was right in front of you. All you had to do was just stab him. And instead, you cut off his robe? What's going on?

Now, there's a couple of reasons to explain why David does that, and actually it also explains why he feels so bad afterwards. See, every Israelite was supposed to keep 4 tassels on their robe. At the ends of their robe, there were to be these little tassels on the front and on the back. In fact, Numbers 15 tells us.

It says, and it shall be a tassel for you to look at and remember all the commandments of the Lord, to do them, not to follow after your own heart and your own eyes, which you're inclined to whore after.

So the tassels on their robe was to be a reminder that they were to follow God's commands, not trust in their own ideas. And so David, cutting off this tassel. That every Israelite is supposed to have is essentially David going, I am going to cut you off from the people of God, from what you are called by God to do, I'm cutting that away from you. But remember, this is also Saul's royal robes. So not only is he symbolically cutting him off from the people, he is cutting him off from the throne, he is stealing, as it were, both his kingdom and taking him away from his people.

And so David, as he does this now looks down in his hand at the reminder that we are to follow God's commands, not our own ideas, and he is convicted. Oh, I shouldn't have done that. In fact, Exodus 22 says,

you shall not revile God nor curse a ruler of your people.

In fact, that's exactly what David just did. He's cursed Saul in this action by attempting to cut him off. See, God had promised David the kingdom, but he had not told David to go take it. It was God's to put into David's hands, not for David to take for himself. And so David realizes even in that moment, he has gone too far. Actually, that he would need God's forgiveness for this, the very forgiveness he's about to offer to Saul.

So he goes back to his men, verse 6, and

he said to his men, the Lord forbid that I should do this thing to my Lord. The Lord's anointed to put out my hand against him, seeing he is the Lord's anointed. So David persuaded his men with these words and did not permit them to attack Saul.

See, here's I think what David is beginning to realize. If he goes and says, yeah, I'm allowed to take Saul's life, I'm allowed to assassinate the king, what is he doing? He's setting up a kingdom that is carved out by bloodshed, that actually whoever wants to be king, all you have to do is kill the last guy. Is that what God is trying to do in you, David? Is that the kingdom that he's trying to set up? No, by no means.

In fact, I mean, it probably should have occurred to David, whether it does or not, that there's still 3000 men outside. Even if he kills Saul, he might just walk outside and they'll kill him. It's not exactly a good idea on any level. Despite the fact that everyone is telling him, yeah, you've got to do this, it seems at first glance to be a good idea, David realizes, actually I've got to trust what God has called me to do. Actually, that God has a plan, he has purposes that I haven't understood yet.

And here is the call for us. Do we trust God, even when we can't see everything that's going to happen? The prophet Isaiah, or God speaking through the prophet Isaiah says this,

for my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are my way, your ways, my ways, declares the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.

God actually does know all things. He does actually control all things. He sees the future, he knows what is best, and so the call for us is, do we actually trust God?

See, we're about to get to the meat of this passage in just a moment. God's gonna call us to forgive others. And the question is, do we trust God in that? When we get hurt, when we feel angry, it can become hard to actually remember that God has something for us, that God is seeing something that we don't always see. And so the call is even in that, to trust God. The only way that we're going to be able to forgive is that God's plan is better than ours. To realize that God can see and actually knows more than we do, and his call on us is for our good.

The reason to forgive is not because I trust this other person. The reason to forgive is because I trust God. Do you trust him enough to forgive someone that will actually work out for your best, for God's glory? See David's sitting in this cave, with everyone telling him, go kill Saul. David realizes, actually, I'm gonna follow what God has called me to do.

And so David goes out and he is going to extend forgiveness by God's grace. Look back to me verse 8. Saul leaves the cave, and it says

afterward David also arose and went out of the cave and called after Saul, my lord, the king. Saul looked behind him and David bowed with his face to the earth and paid homage.

In one moment, that might be the scariest thing David has yet done. Taken his eyes off of Saul and bowed down to the ground. Again, why? He trusts actually God's the one in control.

And David here launches into one of his longest speeches in the book, actually. Verse 9,

David said to Saul, why do you listen to the words of men who say, behold, David seeks your harm.

David is actually quite clever in his speech, because he doesn't just go in and say, Saul, you're being dumb. No, what does he say? He puts the pressure off a little bit and he says, have you been listening to these unknown men who've been saying that I'm here to harm you? We know the truth, we know Saul himself has tried to kill David. David is giving him a bit of an out, as it were, so that they can get to the real problem.

He shows them the evidence in his hands that he is not against him. Verse 10,

behold this day, your eyes have seen how the Lord gave you today into my hand in the cave. Some told me to kill you, but I spared you. I said, I will not put out my hand against the Lord, for he is the Lord's anointed.

David now comes to Saul and says, look, here is the evidence that I am not here to harm you. You can imagine, as David is talking, Saul's looking around and going, oh wow. He was really close to me. Saul can recognize just how vulnerable he was, and that David did not harm him really in any way. He now has concrete proof David is not going to hurt him.

Instead, David is going to trust that God will hold him accountable. Verse 12 says,

May the Lord judge between me and you. May the Lord avenge me against you. But my hand shall not be against you

David does confront Saul with his sin. You have sinned against me, you have done what is wrong, but I will not exact revenge. I will leave that in God's hands.

All right, so here's essentially David's speech to Saul. Number one, Saul, you've done what is wrong. David confronts him with his sin. 2, David shows him his commitment, his decision not to harm. He will not exact revenge, but 3, God will hold him accountable. God will hold you accountable. There is a warning to this.

In fact, David is probably the perfect example of what God calls us to do in Romans. Romans we read,

repay no one evil for evil. But give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it's written, vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.

David is the living example of what that looks like, not to return evil, but to actually do what is right and honorable, to leave judgment ultimately in God's hands.

And while David never uses the word forgiveness in this passage, that is what he is doing. He is forgiving Saul. As much as David is carefully and maybe even diplomatically wording his language to talk to Saul, he has not failed to show Saul his sin. See, sometimes we think forgiveness means I'm just gonna sweep everything under the rug. I'm gonna pretend like nothing bad has ever happened. That's not really forgiveness, that's ignorance. That's not what David does here. He doesn't just say, oh, it's like nothing happened. No, actually, David confronts Saul with his sin, but his decision of what to do with that is, I will not seek to do evil against you, but good. Therein we see that decision for forgiveness, and I will trust ultimately that God will settle the score at the end. He will do what is just and right.

This is what forgiveness looks like. It's not ignoring problems, it is understanding them, confronting them, but choosing not to act on them. That is the kind of forgiveness we are called to show as well.

In fact, the challenging part for us is that as Christians, it's not just a kind of suggestion, but actually a call that Jesus himself makes on our lives. Listen to what Jesus says, Luke 17.

Says pay attention to yourselves. If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him. And if he sins against you 7 times in the day and turns to you 7 times saying, I repent, you must forgive him.

I noticed that word is followed by or preceded by must. You must forgive. In fact, it's a command God has given, lest you think that's a one-off. Jesus again, Matthew 6.

For if you forgive others their trespasses, your Heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your heavenly, will your Father forgive your trespasses.

It's not even optional for the Christian life. Again, Colossians 3.

It says bearing with one another, and if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other, as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.

Hear me, we could keep going, there is a lot more the Bible has to say around forgiveness. We are called as Christians to be forgiving people. But please don't get this one backwards. Please don't flip this the wrong way around. The call is not forgive people, so that Jesus would then forgive you. But because Jesus has forgiven you, you are to forgive. The command to forgive comes only when we have first experienced the forgiveness of Jesus ourselves, because make no mistake, we need forgiveness.

See, we've been reading this whole story through the lens of David, but the truth is, before God, we're in the place of Saul. We're actually the ones who have sinned against God, the one who has created us, the one who has given us all that we have, the one who has given us life, breath, health, everything, every opportunity we've had in life, every possession we have is a gift of God given to us, and we have responded to God in ignoring him. Doing our own thing, trying to make up our own rules and saying he does not exist. In our sinfulness, we have created our own gods to idolize and follow. Our attention has been captured by everything but the one who has created us. We have rejected God and gone our own way, and much like Saul sitting in the cave, God has actually at every moment had the opportunity to put us to death and has chosen not to. God is all powerful. At any moment, he could have stopped us, and yet he has been gracious and merciful to us.

More than just giving us time, he has sent Jesus, his son to be the example of how we are to forgive. God has shown us grace upon grace because Jesus came to this earth, not merely to live, but to die on the cross as a payment for our sins. What our sins have cost, Jesus has taken in our place. He died that our sins might be forgiven. He rose again that we might come to know and be reconciled with God forever. For all who trust in Jesus Christ, this is the forgiveness of God that we get to experience. It is the open invitation of Jesus for all who would believe that your sins are forgiven at the cross. You get to experience this kind of forgiveness through what Jesus has done. Place your trust in Christ. Don't leave here until you come to understand that, because not only is it for your good, it is the only way we can ever forgive.

Until we realize how much God has forgiven us, we will not extend it to others. Until we realize how much Jesus has done, we can never follow his example. The reason we're called to forgive is because Jesus has forgiven us, but please hear and remember, it is God who gives us the strength to follow his commands. It's not merely that Jesus showed us an example and said this is what forgiveness looks like, but God actually fills us with His Holy Spirit so that we would have the strength to begin to forgive others as well.

Hear me, if you're gonna forgive someone, it is hard. It is excruciatingly hard not to go and say I'm gonna come after them, that I will try and get my revenge. It will be brutally difficult and you need the strength of God to actually help you do that. But here's the good news, the very strength we need is what God has promised to us in Jesus Christ. Not only do we experience the forgiveness of God, but he gives us the strength to follow what he calls us to as well.

See, we get to be this representation of the forgiveness that Jesus has given us. We get to show and demonstrate what the forgiveness of God looks like in our lives, in the strength that God supplies. Forgive others because God has forgiven us. God sent David, his Messiah, to go and forgive a man who did not deserve it, so that we might get a picture of what Jesus has done for us. Who have not deserved it. All our forgiveness finds its foundation in what God has done.

And see here's where we want the story to now end on a happy note. We want the, and they lived happily ever after. But the truth is this, much like most real stories in life, is mixed with some sadness. David extends this forgiveness to Saul. The question remains then, what is Saul going to do? And here we are faced with the problem of both true and false repentance.

Look back at verse 16 with me. So

as soon as David had finished speaking these words to Saul, Saul said, is this your voice, my son David. Saul lifted up his voice and wept

Saul now breaks. For the first time in probably months if not years, Saul actually uses David's name. Recognizes that he is his son-in-law. They're related. This is the first time Saul is doing that, and he breaks down crying. Verse 17,

he said to David, you are more righteous than I, for you have repaid me good, whereas I have repaid you evil.

Again, for the first time, Saul actually acknowledges he has done what is wrong. He's given evil, and noticed what broke Saul? Was it David's fighting? Was it a stinging rebuke? No, it was, it was forgiveness. It was grace that finally broke his heartened heart. Genuine forgiveness is far more impactful than the most stinging rebuke.

Verse 20 he makes another admission. He says,

now behold, I know you shall surely be king, that the kingdom of Israel shall be established in your hand.

Saul for the first time recognizes David is going to be the next king. That is what God had promised. And Saul asks David, please don't cut off my family. You remember that was the traditional thing to do with a new regime, you cut off the old one. David had already promised Jonathan, his son, he would not do that. It was easy for him to make that promise. Verse 22,

and David swore this to Saul. Then Saul went home. But David and his men went up to the stronghold.

Now that ends a little bit different than you might expect, because you would expect that after all of that, the story would end and they both went home together, lived happily ever after, but no. David doesn't go back with him. In fact, David retreats back to a fortress and says, here I'm going to be safe, why? Hadn't David forgiven Saul? Well, yeah, he had actually. But they had not reconciled.

See, there's a big difference between forgiveness and reconciliation. Forgiveness is something you do in your own heart. Reconciliation requires genuine repentance and rebuilding of trust. It only takes one person to forgive, it takes two to reconcile me. Or to reconcile, but this is why the Bible can say we are to forgive even when reconciliation isn't possible.

David didn't trust Saul, and for good reason. In fact, if you look back at what Saul's just said, at no point does he ever say, I won't do it again. At no point does he even say that he is particularly sorry for what he has done or make any kind of change to see something different happen or promise to make it right. None of that. He simply acknowledges it and then tries to move on. I think David recognizes this isn't real. Real repentance actually comes with a change of life, a change of heart, a change of action. And so reconciliation here was not possible. In fact, we know the end of the story. This isn't the last time Saul's gonna do this. He's gonna try and kill David all over again.

But here David has a free conscience. There is no weight on his heart for this. In fact, that's gone. David is free. Saul will be the one returning back home with chains on his heart. Our call is to forgive regardless of whether repentance is real. There are times where reconciliation isn't going to happen, but we can extend forgiveness because Jesus has forgiven us, because he has given us that strength to represent him well.

All right, let me end by telling you a bit of a story. A number of years ago, I had a privilege to meet a man by the name of Marcus. Marcus grew up in the former Soviet Union, quite a while ago, obviously. But he grew up and he heard about Jesus at a very young age, he became a Christian. But in a nation that absolutely disliked any kind of religion. So much so that when he went to school, he was openly mocked for it. In fact, his teachers, finding out that he was a Christian, began to mock him, make fun of him, try and make him look foolish whenever they could. Finding this did not stop him, they began to physically beat him. Teacher would hit him at any opportunity, using canes, whatever they could to physically hurt him. They began to encourage the other students to actually physically assault him, beat him over and over again.

In fact, it got so bad where the teacher had dragged him out into the backwoods and beaten him to the point where he could not crawl home. His parents only found him a full day later, searching and trying to figure out what had happened to him. They beat him over and over again, but finding that physical abuse was not enough, they began to sexually abuse him as well. For years, he went under this, over and over and over again until finally his parents found a way for them to flee the country, leaving everything behind, they escaped. I believe they ended up in Germany.

Years later, even as a grown man. He told me that every time he heard the Russian language, he would twitch. He couldn't stop himself, he would become angry almost immediately, just hearing a language that sounded close enough to that. He would become angry because he could not forgive what they had done.

An older man in the church began to recognize what was going on in his life. Took him aside and said, what's happening? Tell me your story. Marcus explained the story and ended with, there is no way I will ever forgive them for what they have done. He was furious, not just at the people who had done it, but the entire Russian culture.

He said, OK, would you agree to meet with me again? He said, OK. And so he met with this man again, and he said, I want you this time, I just want you to tell me one thing. Tell me the very first thing that you can remember happening to you. Just tell me that one. He explained what happened and he said, OK, we're gonna sit here and we're gonna pray. And I wanna ask you, do you think you can forgive just that one? And they went through the gospel again, reminded themselves of the forgiveness of Jesus, prayed, and he said, yeah, I think I can forgive that one. He said, great, I'll see you next week.

And they met week after week after week, for years, they met constantly, and every time they met, he would tell one more thing that had happened, and he would say, do you think you can forgive just this one? And after, I think it was about 4 or 5 years of meeting, he had forgiven every single thing that had happened to him. Marcus today is a pastor who actually serves the Russian people. Because of what Jesus had done.

He forgave, not because they had done anything to deserve it, but because of what Jesus had done, he was able to forgive. He was free. Hear me? That is the call that we have. Whether the other person deserves it or not, we can forgive because of what Jesus has done in our lives, that we can show the goodness and the glory of Christ.

So how do we respond when people hurt us? It's not if but when. When we are hurt, what do we do? The example of David leads us to see is the incredible goodness of God's forgiveness to us, that God would send a Messiah to forgive a man who did not deserve it. So that we could see the greater picture of what Jesus had done. Let our repentance not be like Saul's, but be genuine as we come before Jesus for the forgiveness of our sins. Let us hold out what has been so graciously given. Let us be people of forgiveness, following our Messiah.

Let's pray together.

Oh our heavenly Father. Lord, we thank you. We thank you for the forgiveness that you have shown to us. When we did not know you, when we did not care for you, when we did not love you, yet you sent Jesus to die on the cross, to pay the penalty for our sins. So that we might know you.

Father, I pray that we would respond in genuine repentance, turn back from our sin, turn away from it and trust in you and in you alone. Father, may we extend this forgiveness to those around us. May we be known as the people who forgive, because you have forgiven us. Lord, I pray, would you be glorified in how we respond to your forgiveness?

We ask all this in your name. Amen.